As I matured and grew in self-awareness that revealed my affirmation-seeking behaviors, it became clear that in every moment of my life I was burning external fuel. This means that disappointment, elation, satisfaction, and self-confidence all rested on the opinions of others and the definitions of masculinity I had learned. In a word, I was a slave because I lacked the wherewithal to lead myself, regulate myself, and balance the majestic moments of my life against the degrading, commandeering world. I doubt I am much different than you.